Littler Family 2004 Christmas Letter This Year’s Theme -- Donna and Graeme Get Younger

This may sounds implausible, but Graeme and Donna continued a bizarre age-reversal process that began in 2003 -- but at a dramatically accelerated pace! Last year we drifted into our mid-30s. Graeme’s age is now estimated at 29 and Donna’s 27!! The secret? Hard running and fast living.

The evidence:

• Donna is repeated asked for identification when buying alcohol at local food marts. Graeme is occasional asked for identification when buying alcohol (“Uh, are you sure you want to ID me. I got married 21 years ago.) , but remember, he’s 29, a full two years older than Donna.
• Donna sleeps a few hours each night, then springs out of bed at 5:45 and head for an hour of outdoors aerobics “boot camp”, even in the biting cold of December. For kicks, she goes for 8 mile run with her 20-something friends.
• Donna and Graeme finished in the top 25% of their age bracket (25-29) in the Army Ten Miler, running 7:30 miles and 8:30 miles, respectively. Graeme now runs sub-five minute miles and just ran five miles in 33 minutes.
• Graeme and Donna continue to party like stupid 19-year-olds; each morning they wake up handover-free!
• Following a full blood analysis, a doctor told Graeme that his liver was “like new. It seems to metabolize everything that goes through it.”
• Donna’s skin continues to tighten. Last year’s one wrinkle has simply vanished. On wrinkles, Graeme says, “No comment.“
• Donna’s hair is the same color as when we met in 1981. On hair color, Graeme says, “No comment.“
• Graeme and Donna hate adult music even more than last year. Graeme‘s new favorite band is the Casualties. Each boy in this band has a 12-inch Mohawk!

Sadly, our children continued to age in 2004.

Elise is now a full-fledged teenager, with teenage height, attitude, and looks. Height: Elise is almost as tall as Donna now! By this time next year, she will likely be two inches taller (unless Donna’s enters a post-adolescent growth spurt). Attitude: While she is very slow getting ready in the mornings (makeup, etc.), she has developed true teenage attitude, which means she sometimes walks very fast in public -- to keep 20 yards ahead of her “they’re not with me!” parents. Looks: Graeme is nervous about taking her to the mall because of all the scoping vultures. High school (ninth grade) is on the horizon for Elise and she’s looking at several, including Thomas Jefferson School for Science and Technology. This is by far most prestigious public school in the country (called a “national treasure” by the dean of admissions at MIT). It’s harder to get into than Harvard, but she’s giving it a shot. Check back next year for the outcome. Elise is interested in soccer, is looking for babysitting jobs and loves to spend hours online chatting.

Garret is attempting to rapidly become an adolescent. At 11, he’s got some ways to go. He’s turned out to be a serious student, and rarely needs prompting to do homework or assignments. His grades are great. He‘s also an excellent athlete and plays on a very demanding and competitive soccer team. Garret continues to push Graeme to the near breaking point every night by not settling down to bed. When Garret has kids, Graeme intends to tell them all about what Garret was like between ages five and 11. He will advise them on the many things a child can do to raise the blood pressure of an adult. When they get into trouble for endlessly thumping around (while mom and dad attempt to watch a movie) or bursting in on little siblings to wake them up, they will be fully coached to say: “Why are you mad at us? You were like this every night for six years, dad. Ask grandpa!”

Donny is an enigma. Worldly wise -- thanks to the wisdom he picks up from the TV. (“It‘s a drag looking for my shoes, dad…”), he remains the most stubborn child alive . All he eats in spaghetti (with or without meat sauce), French fries, cereal, and crackers . He has yet to try meat (except that in tomato sauce), vegetables (except potatoes, sliced thin and cooked in oil and doused in salt), fruit (unless tomatoes, as in tomato sauce over spaghetti), bread, and rice. This is tough on Graeme. Thankfully, Donna is happy to cook spaghetti twice a day! Donny plays hockey and is getting quite good. He is doing well at school. He is very social and loves to yack on the phone.

2004 was not another “year in rock”. But we did manage to see some excellent bands. The highlight was David Bowie, the highlight of which was when Graeme rushed the stage to get the “set list” only to be tackled by a crazed fan who wanted it for herself. (Graeme’s glasses went flying as the two tumbled over free-standing chairs in front of the stage.) Was it worth it? eBay suggests the value is miniscule. I don’t care though because it has David Bowie’s footprint on it!

2004 will be remembered as the year Johnny Ramone died. He joins dead Joey Ramone and Dee Dee Ramone. It will also be remembered as the year that the incredibly stupid rock-hating “Rock ’n Roll Hall of Fame” did not induct the now 25-year-old Sex Pistols and even older “the Stooges”, both of whom were nominted, but did induct the lame Pretenders and some mo-town half-wits.